When I Realized I Was Being Overprotective of My Son on the Autism Spectrum

Mother & Son

Most parents that have children with disabilities are really protective of them which is understandable since these children may be more vulnerable than their peers. But sometimes this instinct may be counter-productive in helping our children with disabilities succeed.

In this article, Amy Nielsen explains how she realized being overprotective of her son on the autism spectrum was holding him back. Her almost 5-year-old son has ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). “I am guilty of hyper-vigilantly shielding him from a vast array of unforeseen dangers, many of which exist solely in my mind,” says Nielsen in an article she wrote for The Mighty.

Something that kids with ASD may have is that they are at an elevated risk for eloping, which means wandering away from the safety of caregivers. They may also lack the ability to recognize other forms of danger such as traffic or open bodies of water.

“I am often on high alert even in situations where there isn’t an imminent danger. I discovered from a recent trip to Disney that I need to let go a little, both for his success and mine,” says Nielsen in an article she wrote for The Mighty.

They are both Orlando residents and DisneyWorld annual pass holders, so their family frequently visit the theme parks. “My overwhelming fear of my son getting lost or hurt means our Disney days typically follow the same routine. When not riding an attraction, my son is either strapped in his stroller or tethered to me,” says Nielsen in in an article she wrote for The Mighty.

Her son has a new obsession with Star Wars, so they recently visited Star Wars Land at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. After flying the Millennium Falcon alongside his best friend Chewbacca, her son protested both returning to the stroller or wearing the tether.

“My husband and I locked eyes. After a few moments of silence, we hesitantly agreed to let our son walk unassisted provided he held our hands. He accepted the terms. Throughout the rest of the day, he held our hands as we walked. At times when we needed to let go of him, he placed his hands in his pockets and stood patiently next to us. My husband and I were as thrilled as we were in disbelief!,” says Nielsen in an article she wrote for The Mighty.

She now recognizes that her extreme efforts to keep her son safe were limiting his ability to learn how to do just that. Her trying to protect him will remain a priority when necessary. However, she will also purposely seek opportunities where she can back off a little and allow him to proudly demonstrate the functional independence he is gaining.

Is hard for overprotective parents to let go of their children and sometimes they struggle a lot with that, but if they want their children to have a successful life and learn to do it on their own, they should always try and give their children space in a safe and controlled environment to help them increase their independence. If they need help they will ask for it, but if they don’t let them do it on their own, so they can start learning about independence.