Diagnosed at 29, Tania Garcia Wants to be an Advocate for the Autism Community

Tania Garcia is a 29-year-old mother, medical assistant, and nurse in training. She lives with her husband and two daughters in Chandler, Arizona.

Photo courtesy of Tania Garcia.

Tania Garcia’s diagnosis story is not the typical one. She went through 29 years of her life before she learned — just a few months ago — that she is on the autism spectrum. And she may never have known without the help of her two-year-old daughter.

When doctors noticed that Garcia’s daughter, Valeria, was falling behind in her speech development, they began evaluating her for possible explanations. In conversation with her daughter’s psychologist, Garcia expressed that she felt an especially strong bond with Valeria and noticed many similarities in their behaviors.

The psychologist proposed that this connection might stem from more than just the strong mother-daughter relationship to which Garcia had initially attributed it; he suggested that she, too, might have autism. Garcia said she started shaking and felt a rush of emotions.

Garcia immediately purchased a book about autism recommended by the psychologist and finished it over the next few days. Right away, she began seeing herself in the book: “It was like my life story. I was like, ‘This is me. Oh, I did this; that’s why.’”

After receiving confirmation for both her own and her daughter’s diagnoses, Garcia has continued reading about autism, soaking in all the knowledge she can find in what she describes as a liberating process. She has been learning not only about how to raise a child with autism, but also about her own childhood.

Garcia recalls being put in a lot of boxes as a child who didn’t naturally socialize in the same way as other kids. She was unable to tolerate certain noises and foods, avoided interpersonal contact, struggled to show emotions and erupted into meltdowns; but because her family did not know she was on the spectrum, she was simply thought of as picky, dramatic, intellectual and weird. “When I got the diagnosis, all of it made sense,” she said. “I had a lot of pieces pulling automatically together into my puzzle.”

For Garcia, Valeria’s diagnosis has turned into an opportunity to learn about herself. She said that, even at two years of age, her daughter is her life teacher and mentor. “Valeria’s not a special kid; we are a special family,” she said. “We all are in this boat. We’re all going to read, we’re all going to educate ourselves.”

Despite everything that Garcia is learning, she regrets that it took her so long to find out that she has autism. She believes that her late diagnosis is related to the fact that she is female. Garcia pointed to differing expectations for how girls and boys should act, such as a general acceptance of meltdown behaviors, like crying, in young girls. She recalls being thought of as a “brat” and a “drama queen” when she was younger and behaved disruptively, which she can now attribute to autism. Her family failed to consider that these behaviors were caused by something other than a desire for attention. Garcia wishes there was more awareness about what autism looks like in girls. “I’m like, ‘Let me raise my hand. Open your eyes, see me,’” she said, laughing. “It’s not fun to find a diagnosis at 30. I wish I would have gotten it way before.”

According to Garcia, lack of knowledge about autism is widespread and especially prevalent among her Hispanic peers. She has been able to find a plethora of informational material in English, but her search efforts in Spanish yielded few results.

For these reasons, she wants to become an advocate for individuals on the spectrum. “I’m desperate to learn, I’m desperate to show other people, and I’m desperate to open a portal into the Hispanic community to make sure that they know there’s a lot out there that they have to look for.” She hopes to share those resources, which she’s been able to access thanks to her knowledge of the English language, with the Spanish-speaking community.

Garcia has big plans for her future in advocacy: she is currently taking courses on public speaking and writing, as she hopes to deliver speeches and to write a book about her life. 

She finally knows who she is, Garcia said, and she wants to help others learn about themselves, too. Equipped with a wealth of knowledge she didn’t have three months ago, she is careful to point out that her diagnosis gives her an additional description for herself, not a definition.

Anyone who spends a few minutes speaking to Garcia, a smiling and talkative person, would not be surprised to learn that she has a remarkably positive and driven approach to life. “I don’t feel sad, I just feel connected with her,” she said of Valeria. “There’s no reason for me to cry or feel sorry, because my daughter came into my life so I could realize who I am, but also so I’m able to teach her who she will be.” Her focus for the time being is finding resources and implementing them in Valeria’s life.

“It’s been the greatest blessing because I’m able to find purpose with my life now,” said Garcia. “I always had that drive, wanting to help others. … But now I know that I can help others in so many different ways. And autism has been giving me that little cherry on my cake, and I just love it.”